I grew up listening to Southern Gospel music. Our favorite groups were the Cathedral Quartet, the Talley's, and Greater Vision. I fell in love with that music at a young age. Then as I got a little older, Janet Paschal became a favorite. I would watch singers like Janet Paschal and Debra Talley as they performed and emulate their facial expressions and hand motions. I sang their music in church and even gave concerts for a couple of years. I felt in my heart that God was calling me to sing, and not just sing--to sing on the big stage, not as a soloist, but in a group. That desire led me to pursue a music degree, with which I graduated in 1991. I also went to the Stamps Baxter School of Music (to get discovered) that summer, and then to the Steve Hurst School of Music the next summer (also to get discovered). During this time, I was giving piano and voice lessons--very dissatisfied, I might add. I couldn't enjoy "the trip," because I kept looking for the destination: the stage. Was my goal a bad goal? Not at all! How could having a goal of spreading the Gospel be bad?! However in 1992, I attended the Steve Hurst School of Music and Travis Cottrell was a teacher that year and he gave a devotion out of MY UTMOST FOR HIS HIGHEST. It was the one from July 28th. It made such an impact on my life! I realized for the first time that God was not really all that concerned with my earthly destination (my goal). He was concerned with my trip (the process of getting there). I prayed that night when I got back to my room that God would match my desires to His desires, and the next morning I woke up, content to be a teacher. As a matter of fact, within 2 weeks of the school, my studio grew from 25 to 58, with a waiting list that grew from 5 to 18 within the next year!!! I had been struggling to find students for over a year! Wow! The Lord changed my paradigm concerning future goals that day!! That fall at the National Quartet Convention, I was asked to join the staff at the Steve Hurst School of Music, where I would teach a couple of weeks every summer for the next 10 years.

Here is a copy of the devotion from My Utmost for His Highest that rocked my world!!!!

God’s Purpose or Mine?

Jul

28

2012

He made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side . . . —Mark 6:45

We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What He desires for me is that I see “Him walking on the sea” with no shore, no success, nor goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I see “Him walking on the sea” (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is glorifying to God.

God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.

God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time. However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment as it comes is precious.

Bow the Knee

I am moved by music and poetry. I love the pictures that are painted by rhythms played in a steady meter and words spoken or sung in rhythm. Even though I was trained classically and love classical music, I get bored without words after very many minutes of instrumental music alone. Don't misunderstand me here, though. I love to go to symphonies, but I couldn't do it very often, because I love words and miss the words when they are not present. I am not one who just "likes" a piece of music for the instrumentation, or chord progressions, or melody, or rhythm. I am a lyric-listener. I love lyrics. The anthem the choir at church is singing in the morning is one of my favorites! The lyrics are beautiful and true, and supporting the lyrics is a soothing melody with gorgeous chord progressions.  It is "Bow the Knee" by Chris Machen and Mike Harland. 


The lyrics are:
"There are moments on our journey following the Lord Where God illumines ev’ry step we take. 
There are times when circumstances make perfect sense to us, As we try to understand each move He makes.
But when the path grows dim and our questions have no answers, turn to Him.

"Bow the knee: Trust the heart of your Father when the answer goes beyond what you can see.
Bow the knee; Lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One who holds eternity.
When you don’t understand the purpose of His plan, In the presence of the King, bow the knee.

"There are days when clouds surround us, and the rain begins to fall,
The cold and lonely winds won’t cease to blow.
And there seems to be no reason for the suffering we feel; We are tempted to believe God does not know.
When the storms arise, don’t forget we live by faith and not by sight.


"Bow the knee: Trust the heart of your Father when the answer goes beyond what you can see.
Bow the knee; Lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One who holds eternity.
When you don’t understand the purpose of His plan, In the presence of the King, bow the knee."


Then, at the end, in an almost- a capella ending, it repeats:
"When you don't understand the purpose of His plan, in the presence of the King, bow the knee."


How many times have I not known what to do, what decision to make, which path to take, and all I could do is walk by faith? How many times in my life have I felt alone, like no one understood my situation and no one even cared to understand? Have you ever felt like that? Have you ever felt all alone on your journey? 


But I am reminded that we serve and follow a Sovereign God. Nothing that happens to us catches Him by surprise. All the days ordained for us were written in His book before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16). He is omniscient. His ways are higher than our ways, and His thoughts are higher than our thoughts (Isaiah 55:8-9). We cannot put God in a box and limit Him to our understanding of Him, because He is incomprehensible. We will spend eternity learning more and more about God, never knowing all there is to know about Him, because He is so much more than what our finite minds can even begin to comprehend. And I am glad. I can trust a God like that. He never changes, and I love that about Him. He is faithful, always keeping His promises, slow to anger and abounding in love, and patient with us. He never changes in His Attributes.


That being said, He is also a jealous God, also a God Who doesn't tolerate sin. He is also a God that demands holy, righteous living from mankind. But thank God that He made Jesus, Who knew no sin, to be sin for me, so that in Him I might become the righteousness of God! (2 Corinthians 5:21) He looks at me and sees Jesus' righteousness and Jesus' holiness, because Jesus has already paid the price for my sin, and I accepted Jesus' sacrifice as the propitiation of my sin.


But knowing all of that, every now and then, I like to meditate on His tenderness with me. I like to remember that although He is a demanding Heavenly Father, He is also my Heavenly Daddy, Who loves me very much and Whom I can trust, because He knew my situation and started working on my behalf before it was even "my situation."  And just knowing that He will always allow that to happen which brings about the most glory for Himself, and since I was created for His glory, I can trust Him to work all things for the good. 


So, if you are going through a trial so painful you think you cannot breathe, or if you are going through the fire so hot that you think there is no hope of ever coming out of it, let me encourage you to "BOW THE KNEE, trust the heart of the Father when the answer goes beyond what you can see. Bow the knee, lift your eyes toward heaven and believe the One Who holds eternity. When you don't understand, the purpose of His plan, in the presence of the King, bow the knee."

Am I Really Doing This?

I am way TOO BUSY to blog. I am not sure why I am even entertaining the thought! I don't even know if anyone will be interested in reading my thoughts--I don't even know if my thoughts interest ME!! Ha! I do have a lot of thoughts, though.......hmmmmm.......


It took me so long to figure out how to even set up this blogspot, that now I don't have time to even write a blog because it's my bedtime. I might try this again in a day or two.